The War on Boys

Now that the holidays have (thankfully) passed, the Jewish/Muslim/Buddhist/Atheist/Democrat “War on Christmas” is but a memory. The holy armies of commercialism have won once again. All praise Visa.

Until we get closer to the 2006 election, the gay “Assault on Marriage” will remain on the back burner. Nothing gets elderly conservatives to the election booths like a fictitious attack on the bastion that is traditional marriage, but let’s not get them riled up too soon or their collective apoplexy may decimate the GOP voting rolls. Can’t let those minions of Satan (sorry, liberals) infringe upon the rights of Brittney Spears to have as many quickie Vegas weddings as she wants.

So then, what’s a good conservative to do? For social critics like John Tierney and Kate O’Bierne, the way to keep their acolytes happy is to complain about the “War on Boys” – the observation that the traditionally male-dominated fortress of higher education is becoming increasingly dominated by the fairer sex. Perhaps David Horowitz can add gender parity to his “Academic Bill of Rights”.

I’m so glad that they brought this onslaught on us Y-chromosomes to my attention, otherwise my victimhood might have failed to register in my pitiful little testosterone-addled brain. After all, I’ve been too caught up reading horrific stories about gender inequality in other areas of the world, such as the recent Lancet study that (conservatively) estimates that 500,000 female fetuses are aborted every year in India because boys are “more economically beneficial” to the family. This selective termination of fetuses on the basis of sex isn’t limited solely to India, or even so-called non-Western cultures. Nor will stricter enforcement of existing pre-natal screening restrictions by Indian and other authories resolve this problem. Just consider the fact that 95% of all children in Chinese orphanages are girls, a result of China’s one-child policy coupled with a cultural preference for male heirs. Heck, we don’t even have a good idea of how severe the problem of gender equality is. Hopefully some future, brainy, and most likely female academic will have the intelligence and wherewithal to address these problems.

And to all those individuals worrying about the “War on Boys”, let me give you a sage piece of advice that the coach of my boyhood soccer team once gave – suck it up and deal. Of course, my coach was a woman … - Sean Philpott