September 25, 2006

Dr. Frankenstein at work in Slovenia on ESCR

Don't know if faithful readers of this blog saw the announcement which was lost amidst the hullabaloo about the creation of stem cells from dead embryos but a team of researchers in Slovenia recently announced that they had cloned stem cells from embryos that had been transported back in time. Lead scientists Slobodan Putoneoveronski announced at a press conference amidst the ruins of a medieval monastery in Kranj, where it is believed a prototypical university once stood, that as a result of Slovenia's open policy toward embryonic stem cell research he and his unified Korean team of North and South Korean scientists had, with the support of a generous grant from the Committee to Annihilate Poor and Extraneous Research (CAPER) located in the Kamnik Alp town of Raduha, had successfully beamed a set of eight embryos back from the 22nd century. "We don't know exactly who or whom may have been the source of these embryos or even if they are embryos but we have every reason to believe that they were intact, potent and fully functional upon arrival in Kranj. Each embryo was capable, when subjected to enormous physical pressure when placed gently upon a growth medium of potica and struklji of producing a small pedicle which they belived to be a fully totipotent stem cell" one of the North Koreans said. Putoneoveronski immediately announced that he and his team intended to conduct experiments that might be published some day in a peer-reviewed journal to verify these insights.

Not everyone was thrilled with this pathbreaking work to find new sources of embryonic stem cells.

Hugo Chavez, Noam Chomsky, Madonna and Athanasius, Bishop of Alexandria, issued a joint press conference condemning embryonic stem cell research, time travel and the poor status of tourism in the Kamnik Alps. Each promised to find other irritating things to say about topics they were unfamiliar with in the weeks to come.
-Art Caplan

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